What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Why do some men want to remain single despite the fact that many women want to have a romantic relationship with them?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

TEXT:

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

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Make Nazis afraid again!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What is your best forbidden sex story that felt so right?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

What does it mean when you dream that your mother died?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Is it true that most women like alpha males?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

It’s been over a month since I stopped taking sertraline but why do I still feel side effects like brain zaps and anxiety mood changes? The root cause of anxiety it’s your thinking and I perfectly master that better than before so it’s hard lately.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

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In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Why do I (45, male) feel like I'm crushing on a girl (19, female)?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority